On Monday I had some cramping/bleeding. Went to the ER and they did a workup and said by their ultrasound and blood work I was at 5 weeks pregnant. They saw a sac and no baby. By my calculations I should have been 8 weeks, so a baby with a heartbeat should have been visible. I followed up at the OB today and the findings were the same. She said the sac is an odd shape also. We're waiting on blood work, but she was very honest and said she believes I will miscarry.
I'm not terribly surprised, for whatever reason my mommy instincts knew something was wrong, but I am still sad and disappointed. I have that I wish we'd never tried feeling. I'm 43, so this was my last chance for another baby. I love and am grateful for my four beautiful, healthy daughters and I do know what an amazing blessing it is to have four healthy kids. But I really, really wanted this baby, and while I knew my chances of having a miscarriage were much higher now, I had high hopes for a good outcome.
I'm really sad that it's ending this way.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Saturday, May 4, 2013
The Mouths of Babes
The little girls and I were riding in the car today, listening to our local Christian radio station. Aspen asked me something about why some people don't believe in God, and what happens to you when you die if you don't. This is on her mind often, and I think that's mostly because of her Dad, who is not only a non-believer, but is sometimes antagonistic about his non-belief. As often happens, her question lead us into a rather lively discussion. Abby rode along quietly for a good distance, the piped up and said, "I love God!"
Her declaration made me smile, but her next words touched me deeply, when she asked, "Is God my other Daddy?"
I told her that yes, God is our Father and elaborated a bit on a level her 3.5 year old mind could understand. Afterward we rode along in silence for a while, and a thought came to me that I needed to remember.
God is her other Father. Not only is He her Heavenly Father, but in his holiness, and grace, he will be her father in a parental sense, in ways her Earthly father falls short. God will always be there for her. He will meet her where she is, not wait impatiently for her to bend to His will. He will listen, and truly hear her. He will fill her tiny heart with peace, and love and joy. He will do the same for Aspen, and this baby I'm carrying, and me.
One of our favorite worship songs came on next, and we rode the rest if the way home singing along. And my heart was full of joy, and my mind was at peace.
Her declaration made me smile, but her next words touched me deeply, when she asked, "Is God my other Daddy?"
I told her that yes, God is our Father and elaborated a bit on a level her 3.5 year old mind could understand. Afterward we rode along in silence for a while, and a thought came to me that I needed to remember.
God is her other Father. Not only is He her Heavenly Father, but in his holiness, and grace, he will be her father in a parental sense, in ways her Earthly father falls short. God will always be there for her. He will meet her where she is, not wait impatiently for her to bend to His will. He will listen, and truly hear her. He will fill her tiny heart with peace, and love and joy. He will do the same for Aspen, and this baby I'm carrying, and me.
One of our favorite worship songs came on next, and we rode the rest if the way home singing along. And my heart was full of joy, and my mind was at peace.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Yard Plans
This post brought to you by Scotts Miracle-Gro. All opinions are 100% mine.
I've got to get started beautifying our back yard. It's such a great size with so many nice trees, but right now it's just kind of dull and lifeless. I've been reading up on various kinds of sustainable gardening, and I've also been browings gardening supplies, tools, patio furniture and other backyard goodies, so when I was offered the opportunity to talk about the new Scotts Florida Select Natural Eucalyptus Mulch, I didn't hesitiate. Florida Select Natural Eucalyptus Mulch is made especially for your Florida landscape. Not only is it 100% Florida grown, to support the economy, it is also sustainable, natural and effective. For those of you who don't live in Florida, Scotts Nature Scapes mulch is also a terrific product to get your lawn looking fabulous this Spring. Available in Classic Black, Sierra Red, and Deep Forest Brown, it is produced entirely from naural forest products with no waste. A variety of textures are also available. Scotts Mulch helps to maintain moisure, prevent weeds and give your lawn that groomed landscape look all year long.
I've been browsing the Internet in search of ideas for our own yard, and these are just a few of my favorite ideas. I love the look of flowers around a mailbox. I think it just adds a super warm, inviting look to the overall landscape of a home.
I also adore the look of mulch around the trees in a nicely green lawn!
I also love garden paths, and we have a lot of trees so a winding path would be perfect through the shady parts of our yard!
What are your plans for gardening and landscaping this season?
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