My Little Swimmer

Today I have to take a minute to brag about Aspen. She has learned to swim. I've watched this process and been amazed by it for the last few summers now. Two years ago, when she was just two, we bought her her first set of water wings and started taking her to the pool. The first day, she was afraid to let go of me for a while, but once she got brave enough to try and figured out that the wings would keep her up, she took off and there was no stopping her. Last summer, we used wings too and she swam all over the pool. She jumped in and I'd catch her and we played all sorts of water games. It was a great summer, but a little bit lonely for her, since there weren't many other kids her age here. This year there are several kids her age and she's really enjoyed having someone to play with. She wanted to jump in, go under and swim the way they did, but fear of going under held her back.

Gradually, bit by bit she got braver and braver. She was all but swimming anyway, and putting her face in and going under were the only things holding her back. This week, out of the blue, she conquered those fears, and in a matter of days, became a swimmer. One of her water wings got a hole in it, so she wore just one, and that allowed her to practice keeping herself up more. Once she figured out that she was actually swimming, that gave her the courage to start putting her face in, then going under fully. A new pair of goggles helped with this too.

I am so delighted by the joy this has brought to her. Both of her big sisters were much older when they learned to swim, so she is extra proud about that. These are the times when the joy of parenting far, far outweighs the hard parts. I feel so blessed to be able to experience this with her, and to share it with all of you.

What unexpected joys has this summer brought you and your family?

The Power of Words

Out of the blue we are able to get an Internet connection in the house today, so while Abby naps and Aspen is at the pool with Ashley, I find I have a moment to blog from the comfort of home. Perhaps this is a little pat on the back from God? It's a treat, to say the least, and I'm thankful. In my zeal to blog I was all set to join in the fun of Wordless Wednesday, in hopes of rebuilding some of my blog traffic. On my way I stopped by one of my favorite ministry websites, and came across this article about, you guessed it, the power of our words. I sat completely convicted as I read it and realized that this must be a direct message from the Lord as to what I am to do first now that I am following Him again.

I am so guilty of wreaking havoc and destruction with my words. Over the last several months (longer than that if I am honest) I have grown more and more careless and hurtful in my verbal dealings with those who matter the most to me, my family. I've been angry at my husband for so long now over foolish things, and that anger has translated into many unkind things said to and about him. In addition I have taken my frustrations with other people and other situations out on him as well. He is not the only one who has been an innocent victim of my verbal venom. I have even been unkind to Aspen, my sweet, sweet four-year-old. When her behaviour has exasperated me, I have delivered unfair verbal punishment instead of firm discipline and loving guidance. The older girls' herculean efforts to help around the house and with the care of the little ones has earned them far fewer words of thanks than they deserve and I've vented my frustrations on them far too much. Also I have heaped critical comments about their father and men and marriage in general on them, which is totally unacceptable. I've even blogged in the negative, as I'm sure my regular readers noticed. For those of you still around, please accept my apologies.

It's hard to write posts like this. It's hard to admit when I'm wrong and confess behavior I'm not proud of. What will people think, I wonder? I think it is important to share this type of testimony in addition to the good stuff. After all, we are not perfect. We're all works in progress in the hands of God. It's important to share the things that can happen when we turn away from God. There may be someone reading this post now who is in a similar place, in need of a reminder. Or someone out there feeling the same way and needing to know they are not the only one.

For whatever reason, I felt led to share this today. I also want to share the desire that now fills my heart, the desire to step back and let the Lord change me, fix me, and help to heal the hurts that have been created. My prayer today is that the Lord will help me to see my husband and children through His eyes, with love and understanding. It's important for us to remember, when we fall, that this is the way the Lord sees us. He dislikes our sin but looks on us with love and understanding, and we have only to turn our eyes to him.

As I conclude this post I can hear my hubby and the girls engaged in various activities and the Lord has gifted me with a heightened awareness of just how blessed I truly am, and how much precious time can be wasted when we take our eyes off of Him and the gifts he's given us.

As Summer Fades To Fall

As I sit writing this overdue update, I can't help but pause and take in everything around me. It's a lovely evening, a bit on the cool side. It would truly feel like Fall if not for the high humidity. I'm sitting at the community pool, enjoying nice breezes and the songs of the doves and cicadas in the woods nearby. Little Abby, now 3.5 weeks old, snoozes contently beside me in her stroller, while Ashley and Aspen play on the deserted pool deck. This setting is reflective of my day, which was peaceful in a way not too many recent days have been. I have a deep sense of inner peace today after a morning of earnest prayer and confession, and asking the Lord to fill my heart as He once did, before daily life intruded on my relationship with Him. After struggling along for months trying to deal with things myself and almost completely abandoning my path of following Jesus, I came to my senses last night while listening to a sermon on reaping what you sow by Pastor Charles Stanley. It was as though a light went on in my heart, and I suddenly realized that I am, in fact reaping what I've sown. All my difficulties, doubts and uncertainties of late are all the direct result of wandering off the path created by my Saviour just for me to follow. But Jesus is faithful and stood waiting on the path for me when I returned this morning, and He heard my prayers and has already answered one and replaced my sense of worry and hopelessness with peace, love and joy.

Time has just flown by since Abby was born. I can't believe August is drawing to a close soon. School starts here tomorrow. I have so much to do to get us back on track with Ashley's senior year of home school. We are researching prospective art schools for her, and plan to tailor her last few classes to meet the entry requirements of the program we end up choosing. Research is so much harder without the Internet directly in the house. I can't wait until we can afford to get it back. Kelly, the eldest, is looking into a wildlife biology program at a University in Montana and we need to get going on the financial aid process for her.

We are still trying to get a routine down in the house that works for us. I thought that adding a fourth child would be easy, really. I was wrong. We're getting there though. Aspen is doing better as a big sister although she is struggling with a few things that she's had to give up. I would not have characterized her as spoiled before, but now I have to admit that I have really babied her in certain areas and I now have my work cut out for me to correct these things. It won't be easy, but it will reap great benefits in the end for her and the family.

Abby is doing well. All of my worries mentioned in my last post turned out to be unfounded. Her first trip to the doctor last week put them all to rest. I've modified the way I planned to do some things with her, and I've been happy with the results so far. She has an incredibly sensitive tummy and no matter what I eat, she ends up with terrible gas. I've also noted that I don't seem to be producing enough milk for her. I've never had this issue with my other kids, but a few bottles of carefully selected soy formula have proven to work wonders in filling her and helping with her digestive troubles. A few months ago I would have gone on and on about the virtues of exclusive breast milk and said to supplement is a bad idea. Well, guess what? It's working for us. Never say never.

Stay tuned for more updates and (I hope) a Fall Giveaway.

Two Weeks Old

Not only is it hard to find time for blogging with a new baby, it's nearly impossible without Internet in the house. Please remind me not to turn it off again, ever.

Anyway, I digress. I just came on this afternoon to post a brief update. The last two weeks have been predictably busy, stressful and wonderful just the same. Abby is settling right in and we've just about got a routine established. My only real goal in that department is to fine tune our daily doings so that they involve less of Aspen demanding every minute of her sisters' time.

I was planning to post all the usual updatish type of info, like Abby's weight and height and weight gained and what not, but I can't, because we have yet to make it to the doctor with her for a checkup. Sounds crazy doesn't it? Long story but suffice it to say that insurance is at the core of the problem. So I can't give you all the statistical goodies that are so popular for update posts.

I can fill you in on some interesting (not to mention nerve-wracking) things that have popped up. Breastfeeding is going well, except for Abby's seeming unwillingness to poop. She was a diaper making champ until late last week, when she didn't go for two days. I called the doctor's office and they suggested a few home remedies, which I already knew after three previous kids. I tried them all. A couple ounces of water produced a diaper on Sunday evening. Since then? Nothing. Zip, nada, zilch. She's still eating well and only a little gassy, so I'm not too worried about it yet. Still, it's one more thing on my mind.

I am also questioning her weight gain and my mysterious weight loss this week. From last Tuesday until this Wednesday (that's a week) I lost seven pounds. Yes, seven. A lot of it was water weight and so on, and I'm glad for that. I am a little concerned about my intake and the quality of the milk. I have 0 appetite. Still, Abby eats and seems satisfied after. I think it's just my own worries and the need to hear the doctor say she's gaining well, you know?

I'm also a little dismayed that now, instead of alcohol applied by Mommy to Abby's cord, they use this weird blue dye junk that does not appear to me to be working at all. All I can see is that it turned the cord an icky blue. I've also observed that Abby's soft spot is pretty big. Normally on my girls I can feel small spots at the front of their head and at the crown, but Abby's runs the length of her head from crown to forehead. I've never noticed that with her sisters, so that's one more thing on my list to pounce on the doctor with.

In spite of all this little worries, she eats well, sleeps well and has very active times, which are too cute for words, so I'm confident everything is pretty okay. We'll see on Thursday at our first visit.

Aspen had a tough time at first but now she is adjusting and behaving much better. I've made a huge big deal every time she helps me or every time I see her do something kind and gentle with Abby. This morning she played with her on my bed while I sat there and made phone calls, and it was soooo cute. I think she's slowly adjusting and realizing that Mommy still loves her.

I'm bouncing back from the pregnancy and my BP is still elevated. I had this after Aspen too and everyone was all over me to rest and so on. It takes a while for it to come down with me, several weeks usually, so I am just taking my meds, doing what I feel like doing, and getting back into my preprego clothes (yay!).

The weirdest thing of all I guess, is the fact that at only two weeks post-partum, I am already craving another one. Funny, huh?

Six Days Old

Has it really been six whole days since Abby came into the world? Where did the time go? Except for a few rocky moments of juggling mostly-loving-but-sometimes-jealous Aspen and hungry-or-otherwise-needy Abby, it's been wonderful. Shawn is off work and both older girls have been super helpful. We've had some nice, peaceful moments that have so eluded us for such a long time. I am praying that it will last.

Abby has been such a blessing. She is beautiful and perfect, sleeps well and only gets fussy when she's hungry, tired, in need of a change or gassy and so far it's been very obvious which is which. She is a champion sleeper. So far we've coslept but that's not something that will continue. In her crib (which is 2 feet from our bed) she also sleeps well but eventually gets cold and wakes up so I am going shopping for some long sleeve footed sleepers later this week. She hates to be cold and let's us know when she is. She loves to be swaddled (who wouldn't) and spends much of time wrapped up snug as a bug.

Aspen has done well, except for a few rough spots when she's been overly tired or very needy and had to wait for me. Instant gratification for her is a thing of the past, and that's a tough adjustment. But she's doing okay and it is so obvious how much she loves her baby sister. She's also super helpful, fetching things for me and soothing Abby when she fusses during diaper changes.

Two days spent together non-stop in the hospital was good for Shawn and me. We got to talk more than we have in months and that was a good thing. Now that we're home, and six days out I find we're slipping back into our passing like ships in the night pattern again, which is something I want to change.

Having Abby with us now has made me look at things from a different view and that's been a very positive change. It's forced me to look at the future in a different way as well, and I feel differently about things that I have at any point in the past. Bed rest for lingering high blood pressure has also been good for me, as it's given me a break and forced me to slow down and be still. Days just enjoying resting and getting to know my new daughter have been a wonderful blessing, and I am filled with love for my family and hope for our future.

Stay tuned for more pics and updates!

Wordless Wednesday: New Sister

Wordless Wednesday