Banks Ripping Off Americans? Heck yea...

Just thought I'd put this out there. Anyone see this article?

Should Banks Reimburse for Overdraft Fees?

When I think of all the times Wachovia (aka WalkAllOverYou) has robbed us of a hundred dollars or more over a few dollars, it makes me want to scream. Just a few weeks ago they tried to charge us $175 in fees when there was no overdraft! Happily I got it corrected and they refunded all the fees, but even then the service agent had the nerve to tell me they were only doing it as a courtesy. Are you kidding me? When I pressed her a bit she went so far as to say that "technically" there was an overdraft, (even though it was their fault)and that they didn't have to refund the fees. That unnerved us so much that we changed banks the next day, even after being with Wachovia for six years.

I mean, good grief.

Our Job Search

Just thought I'd post a quick update on our job search. Today I was browsing ads online and found a ton of jobs in my hubby's field. As y'all know, he is an apartment maintenance supervisor. I was delighted to see that there are tons of these positions open around the area where we want to be. Some are right in Virginia Beach, others are in the surrounding areas of Chesapeake and Norfolk. I put Shawn's resume out to at least ten properties and management companies so far.

Where we will actually land depends on a few factors. The most obvious one is where he actually ends up working. For the last ten years we have lived at the property where he has worked. This has tremendous advantages and has really helped us financially when it comes to the high price of gas over the past two summers. And, since we only have one car, it's very convenient for him not to need to drive to work.

There are a couple of factors at play this time around. For one, my parents would really like us to live near them in Chesapeake. Shawn is less than thrilled with the idea, mainly because their area is a little questionable. A lot like where we live now, they live in a nice area that is surrounded by not-so-nice areas. On the other hand, living close to family really appeals to me on an emotional level. Plus, there is a house next door to them that is bank owned (we think) after the owner recently passed away. Apparently the man's relatives came, took what they wanted and basically abandoned the property. My Dad tried to call the bank that he thinks holds the mortgage but they wouldn't tell him anything. He would like to try to buy the property and rent it to us, and eventually we would buy it. That would be an ideal first step into more financial stability for us if it worked out. So, there's that to consider.

There is also the fact that we are so familiar with the beach area, the schools and so forth and the fact that the girls and I so adore the beach. My parents area is a forty minute drive from there. Part of me really wants to live out that way, but there are ups and downs with that too.

In the end, it will all be up to God. He already has a plan, and a job and place to live picked out for us. I can't wait to watch His plan unfold. Stay tuned...

Our Journey Home

Today I learned something new. I learned that submitting a resume and cover letter online is a lot more complicated than it should be. I've just spent most of the evening doing just that, submitting my hubby's resume to various property management companies with apartment complexes in Virginia Beach. In spite of the fact that the mechanics of it have been a bit frustrating, I do it with a joyful heart.

Those of you who are my regulars know the story pertaining to our anticipated move back to Virgina Beach, after ten years away. You can read more about that here. The Lord has indeed been at work in this situation and in my hubby's heart, because yesterday he up and said to go ahead and start subbing his resume in now. I am still a little in shock by his sudden change of heart about all of this, but I am not missing a beat on getting the ball rolling.

Not only have I been feeling homesick for the area and missing my family for a while now, but more recently I have really had intense feelings that that is where God wants us. I can't really explain or rationalize them, so I won't try. Suffice it to say, it's just a feeling in my heart that it is our home and should have always been. Now that we seem to actually be on our way to getting back there I find that my thoughts and feelings about so many things have changed, and I have a sense of peace that I've not had about any of our other moves or changes.

I'll keep everyone posted on how things go. I'm planning to chronicle the whole journey on my blog so I hope all of you will come along for the ride. In the meantime, I'll share a song I posted once before here on my blog, back when it was Aspen's favorite song. I love it too, mostly because it's such a happy upbeat song. It's kind of become my anthem for the joy I feel over going home, mostly because of the chorus, which says:

Raise your hats and your glasses too
we will dance the whole night through
we're going back to a time we knew
under a violet moon...

Enjoy!

Working Together

Today has been an interesting day around here. When the day began, you might say the odds were stacked against us.

To begin with, both of the little girls are sick with some sort of crud, so that's made balancing their needs a little more of a challenge than usual. Ashley and I both woke up also feeling a little icky and generally draggy. The house was a total mess and the laundry was piled up to the ceiling. We're also out of a lot of key grocery items and just about out of diapers, and completely out of money. Ashley and I both recognized the potential for it to become a bad day quickly. While praying about this, the thought came to me that the attitude with which we went into the day would most likely dictate exactly what we got out of it. After all, we reap what we sow. This is a lesson that is being pounded into my head lately.

Ashley and I both knew that it was up to the two of us to handle things today. This is how it is most days usually, but today being Saturday, it's even more that way. On the weekends, my hubby is about as helpful as a doorknob. Now, in his defense, he did get up early this morning and take Abby for several hours so that Aspen and I could sleep in, and for that I am grateful. And he will take Abby for me during the day when I need him to, if he's not engrossed in a video game. In short, we knew better than to count on his help today. We also knew we wouldn't see hide nor hair of Kelly, as she's now taken to sleeping all day and staying up all night. It was up to us to handle things.

I presented the idea to Ashley that we needed to come up with a game plan for the day, so that we could enjoy it instead of merely survive it and she agreed. I'm really pleased with how the day went once we adopted our take-charge attitude. We sat together and brainstormed ways to care for both the little girls, meet their needs, get the house cleaned, catch up the laundry, and procure the groceries we'll need over the next few days. The answer we came up with? Teamwork.

Ashley got the laundry going while I watched a preschool show with Aspen and fed Abby. Then Ashley played with Abby while Aspen and I loaded up the pile of trash that had gathered in the garage and took it to the compactor. Next, Ashley played with Aspen while Abby napped and I got busy on eBay, listing some of my Cricut cartridges for sale to raise some quick cash. I hate doing that, but our money is super tight this month so we do what we have to do.

We juggled kids and chores that way for the rest of the afternoon, passing Abby off to her Daddy a few times when things got hairy. Now, as evening settles, we've accomplished a lot. The last load of laundry is running. The house has been straightened. The little girls have both had the loving attention and TLC they needed. We had a good dinner, grilled chicken with creamy rice and green beans, that Ashley cooked while Abby cuddled with Daddy and I took Aspen out to ride her bike a little. Now Aspen is watching Ashley play a video game and I am nursing Abby as I blog. In spite of a rocky start, it's been a good day.

I can't really put into words how grateful I am for Ashley. She is an incredible, amazing helper. She cooks, she cleans, she plays with Aspen nearly 24/7. She does laundry, she vacuums, she changes poopy diapers. She runs errands with me, she cleans the litter box. She hangs out with me and is a true friend. If it wasn't for her, I would lose my mind. Of all the blessings in my life, she is one of the best.

21 Years

Today is our 21st wedding anniversary. We've now been married for over half of our lives. It seems like so long when I say it that way but it's gone by in what seems like the blink of an eye. Just for fun I thought I'd share a timeline:

1986 - We met while working at a KB Toys Store in Virginia Beach. I was 16 he was 18.

1987 - We started dating in the late summer / early Fall. Our early dates included dinner at a great place called Spinnakers, and an Aerosmith concert.

1988 - Found out we were pregnant in July, got married September 17.

1989 - Our daughter Kellyanne was born March 3.

1992 - Moved into our very first apartment in March. Our daughter Ashley was born July 17.

1997 - Shawn suffered a heart attack and underwent bypass surgery.

1999 - We moved from Virginia to Littleton, CO just outside of Denver. Shawn began his career in apartment maintenance this same year and I managed a KB Toys store.

2003 - We moved from Colorado to Charlotte, NC. I wanted to go home to Virginia and he didn't, so NC was a compromise.

2004 - Found out we were expecting Baby #3 in July.

2005 - Aspen was born March 17.

2008 - Shawn accepted a promotion to Maintenance Supervisor and we moved here to the community we currently live in.

Kelly left home and moved in with my parents in Virginia in June. She came home in November, the same month we learned we were expecting Baby #4.

2009 - Abby was born July 30.

Which brings us to where we are now, adjusting to life with four kids, pinching every penny, trying to revive our relationship and contemplating moving back to Virginia.

I wonder what the next 21 years will bring...?

Our Growing Girl

Our tiny little girl is not so tiny anymore. Abby was 6 lbs. 13 oz. and 19 inches at birth. Now, at nearly six weeks old, she has grown a whopping three inches and gained 2.5 pounds. Needless to say, her newborn wardrobe has become a thing of the past. The onesie she's wearing here is a Carter's Newborn size, and you can easily see how much she's grown. Obviously we can no longer snap it and it's pretty snug. It's so amazing how fast time passes and how much the little ones grow in that time. I was a little misty as I packed up the newborn clothes that she can no longer wear and pondered what to do with them.

Just as with Aspen, Abby was to be our last baby. Yet as time goes by her Dad and I have more and more conversations about "the next one" or "just one more". He would still like to have a son, and I would love more children. I have mixed feelings, of course. Financial concerns loom the largest, yet God has repeatedly provided for our children in unexpected and amazing ways. If it's His will to grow our family then I know He will again. So as with everything in life, I am content to leave it up to Him.

In the meantime I'll tuck this box of clothes away in the closet and go back to savoring all those fleeting baby moments.

Letting Go

Last summer, my oldest daughter Kelly moved away to Virginia to stay with my parents for a while. The plan was for that move to be a stepping stone for her. She was to work on getting her GED and driver's license with my parents' help, and then move on from there to either college or a job that would help her to support herself. It was to be a step into adulthood for her. Those of you who are my regular readers know that it didn't exactly turn out that way. Those of you not familiar with the story can learn more here.

At 20, Kelly really is off track for where she should be. Part of this is my fault, part of it is her attitude and personality getting in her way. In many ways I feel I have failed as a parent with Kelly. She and I don't get along at all. We can barely be in the same room without grating on each other's nerves. No matter how hard I try to communicate with her, to guide and to be an example, I continually fail. Prayers nightly for her and for our relationship seem ineffective. The tension between us was one factor in why she went to Virginia in the first place. I considered the opportunity an answer to those prayers and life in our family during the six months that she was away was peaceful and harmonious. My relationship with her improved as well. It seemed we could connect much better when we weren't trying to cohabitate. My hopes for her future soared.

It wasn't to last though. The situation gradually began to unravel in September, when everyone's personalities began to clash. Kelly was unable to see past all the negatives involved to realize what a blessing the opportunity was for her, and my parents were rapidly tiring of her self-centered attitude and ungrateful behavior. Truth be told, I was shocked and saddened by the degree of bad behavior exhibited on everyone's part. You can read more on that here.

Anyway, Kelly opted to come back home to live with us in November. I knew it was a bad idea, but I had hoped that she would come back with a new appreciation for how good she had it at home and that we could work together to get things accomplished and improve our relationship. That's what she told me she wanted as well. Now, ten months later, matters are worse. We don't get along at all. Her attitude of disrespect toward me is starting to rub off on four-year-old Aspen, as has her bad language and out of control temper. Ashley, our 17-year-old, who bends over backwards to help around the house is exasperated with her sister's lack of effort around here. She helps, but only when it suits her. Poor little Aspen is confused by her mood swings, and how one minute they are best buddies and the next minute Kelly wants nothing to do with her and is testy and mean.

I could go on, but you get the picture.

Now my husband's parents have extended the offer to her to come and live with them in Richmond, VA. The conflicts will be less there, as they don't care about her quirky nocturnal sleeping habits and are more than willing to help her finish getting her driver's license and a job. She and I do agree that we get along better if we don't live together, and she admits that she is at the root of many (not all, but a lot) of the conflicts within the family. It's better for her to move out.

My primary concern with her moving in with them is that she will continue to do what she does here, which is nothing. I have visions of her getting stuck in a dead end job and never going to college or anything like that. None of their kids went on to higher education and I just don't really think that they think it's important. And, just as I feared with my parents, I don't think they have any idea what they are letting themselves in for. However, in this case it won't come as much of a shock to them. And, as my hubby puts it, they've been warned.

As I write this she is up in her room, packing her things and sorting what she'll take and what she'll leave here in our storage room. Despite all the concerns, I do feel like this is a blessing for all concerned. Just the other night, after a particularly ugly arguement, I told my husband that something had to give in this situation. The timing of his parents' offer couldn't be better.

Letting go is hard, but I know now that I really have to in this case. She's my daughter and I love her, but I can't really help her right now. I am not what she needs. I need to let go of my plans for her and let her make her own choices and live her life. I need to keep loving her and praying for her, but I also need to refocus the energy I've spent dealing with her on healing the family and making our home harmonious again.

I know that with the Lord's love and guidance that's possible. I hope you will all keep our family in your prayers as we embark on the journey toward renewal and happiness.

Weight Loss

I had my postnatal check up with my OB today. I am thrilled to report that I am now down to 140 pounds. At my first prenatal checkup last year I was at 153, way too much for my petite 5'1" frame. I made a promise to myself to diet and exercise after the baby was born and to get back to a healthy weight. I haven't had to do much. I only gained 10 pounds during the pregnancy and the weight began dropping off rapidly after delivery.

Breastfeeding requires extra calories, and I made sure I kept my intake close to normal. The result? I have lost 13 pounds in the last six weeks. I couldn't be more thrilled. My goal weight is between 115-120 pounds.

Anybody else out there working on losing weight? How are you doing? What is your goal?

600th Post

I had no idea until I sat down here that this will be my 600th post. According to my post counts I blogged twice as much in 2008 as I have in 2009. I am so glad that I started this blog and kept it going in spite of reservations and all my hemming and hawing over whether to continue to blog or not. I spent some time today scrolling through my 599 previous posts and reading a few from each month. I really enjoyed reading my own insights, seeing how things have changed and especially, seeing how much my sweet Aspen has grown.

I started blogging a couple of years ago on the premise that I could use my blog to earn some extra income with sponsored posts. Since then it has meant so much more to me than a little extra pocket money. It's been an outlet, and a social connection that has helped me learn more about life, parenting and myself.

If you're new to Shore's End, welcome! I love to meet new bloggers, so please leave a comment. That way I can come and visit you too. If you're a returning reader who has been away for a while, I'm so glad you're back. Please take a minute to update your links or resubscribe, since my web addy has changed. For those of you who are my long-time readers who have stuck with me through the hormonal insanity of pregnancy and all my bloggy breaks, you mean so much to me!

I'm looking forward to many more bloggy adventures and I hope y'all will all come along for the ride.

Into Our Second Month

Abby is five weeks old now. Isn't it funny how when you have a young baby in the house, all time is measured by the days and weeks of their lives? So fleeting are these times. I've been trying to take in every precious moment and soak up all the sweet little baby love I can before she's not a baby anymore. Already the newborn has vanished, replaced by the more rounded, alert and social personality that comes from having several weeks under her belt. She still sleeps a lot but during her awake times she is much more alert and interested in everything around her. She loves to be talked to and is fascinated by the TV. Just the other night she fussed when Aspen got between her and the screen, and stopped when she moved again. Note to self - turn off the TV a lot more.


Abby is a bit colicky. I think I have to give her the honor of being our fussiest baby. Intestinal discomforts continute to dominate a lot of her day, and we're still tweaking things to try and combat it. Her doctor maintains that there is nothing really wrong, and that her digestive system is just sensitive. I spend a lot of time walking with her, bouncing, rocking and back rubbing. We're continuing to combine breast milk with soy formula, and the formula, made for sensitive tummies, truly does seem to help a lot. What helps more than anything is Daddy. The other girls and I have taken to calling him The Magic Man, because no matter how fussy Abby may be, she has only to snuggle up in his arms and all is well almost instantly. It's pretty amazing.


Now that we're settling into a routine, I find I am a bit restless. I walk around with a vague sense of Okay, what now? I've been incredibly homesick again, for Virginia where we're originally from. You may recall several months ago I was really excited when Shawn said we could work toward moving back there next summer. Since then he has been back and forth on that so much that I'd all but given up hope that it would ever happen. At the moment we are tentatively back on, and I just keep praying that it's God's will and that He'll make it happen for us. In the meantime, I have plenty to keep me busy.