If Anyone Is Still Reading....

Yes, I am still here! Don't give up on me yet. After months of not having Internet in the house, we got it back a few months ago, only to lose our computer to a virus a few days before Christmas. Thankfully everything had been backed up, so nothing vital has been lost. Of course now we have to buy a new computer. I am okay with this, since I've wanted a new one for a long time now. It's just tough to be completely without one while we wait for the end of January when we'll be able to afford it. My hubby is wanting to get a Mac, vs PC which we've always had. Does anyone have any input on that? I have reservations.

In other news, all is well and we had a great Christmas. It was special in many ways, mainly that it was Abby's first. We were able to get Ashley a beautiful new Ibanez guitar that she has been wanting for months and trying to save for, and I was so thrilled to be able to surprise her with it on Christmas morning after all she has done for us since being at home for school. She is truly amazing and it felt so wonderful to be able to recognize and reward her giving nature. Santa brought Aspen a Fisher Price Smart Cycle, and she was thrilled with it. Santa also brought Abby a spiffy farm animal themed Exersaucer which she loves, and which has really made our daily routine smoother, allowing for some independent play for her.
We surprised Daddy with a video game he really wanted, and while I was delighted to surprise him I was less than thrilled to find that it is extremely violent and even involves a level that is outright terrorism. I won't be buying any more games. But that's a post for another time. I was surprised by hubby with a DVD of the new STAR TREK movie and I loved it!! I was really unsure if I would like it or not, but it was terrific! Again, a post for another time.

Anyway, I hope you all had wonderful holidays. We'll be back as soon as we can and I'll be posting here and there from here at our community center. Blessings to you all and Happy New Year!!

A Very Special Christmas

I am back to digital scrapbooking. YAY!!! I had forgotten how much I enjoyed it, and since paper scrapping is on hold for brighter financial times, it's back to digi for me. I was perusing old blog posts the other night when I came upon this post, where I shared a slideshow of a digital album I had just finished. It was so fun to look at all the pages I had put so much love and time into and I couldn't wait to get going with it again.

I decided to start by working on a Christmas album for this year, since it's Abby's first and we already have lots of great pre-Christmas pictures. This is the first page, hope y'all like it. This picture of my four girls was the best one out of over 100 shots we took trying to get the perfect Christmas card image.



Credits for the fabulous digital materials I used go to two terrific artists. First, the papers and elements are from an adorable kit called Homespun Christmas by Shel Belle Scraps. The alphas, which I recolored to match this page, are from a kit called Two Soon that I downloaded from my favorite digital scrapbook site, Shabby Princess.

Stay tuned for more of my digital creations!

We're Published!

The line of women writers in my family is finally seeing the light of literary reality. My mother just self-published her very first book. Titled Songs from a Tree, it is a collection of her poems and art. She has a real gift for capturing the beauty of simple things and the joy of living a Christian life in her writing and her art, and this book is a wonderful, heart-warming serving of both. It's currently for sale here. I'm so excited for her. She has dreamed of publishing a book of her work for as long as I can remember and now at the age of 76, her dream has been realized.

I can't wait to get my copy of Mom's book, as well as my copies of sister's two novels, Full Circle and Full Circle 2: Phoenix. Both stories are Christian love stories with our Native American heritage beautifully woven in. I felt so proud viewing the covers at Kathy's storefront. She too has always dreamed of publishing her writing, and she and I have shared our works in progress with each other since I began writing at the age of 12. Kathy is also a breast cancer survivor, so realizing her dream is that much more meaningful for her, and for me.

I hope that you will all stop by the links above and check them out. And of course, they all make great Christmas gifts!

Prayers For The Duggars, Gratitude For My Children

My thoughts for the past two days have been almost exclusively with the Duggar family, whose 19th child, Josie, who was born prematurely on the 11th. I read some comments on the subject from around the Internet and I was both encouraged by the outpouring of love and support for them, and shocked by the hateful garbage people are capable of spewing. Personally, I love the Duggars. I can't even take enough time to express how much they have inspired me over the last four years. Watching their special 14 Children and Pregnant Again, reminded me of the value of family and was one of many promptings that came to help steer me back toward my Christian faith. Now, each time I watch an episode of their current show, 18 Kids and Counting, I am uplifted and inspired. I am so grateful that they opened their home and lives up to TV crews and that they insisted that their faith be an integral part of the show.

Thinking of the Duggars also challenges me to be the best wife and mother that I can be, whether my husband is a believer or not. For any Christian woman who is married to a non-believer, there is no question of how difficult that can be. Still, I have found, it is well worth the effort, for so many reasons. And of course, the Duggars remind us all of one essential truth, children are a blessing.

Sometimes it can be tough to remember that, when daily circumstances get the better of us. There are days when I wonder why I chose to have more kids, when I was so close to being "free" as some other moms have put it to me. That "freedom" would feel awfully empty to me, if there were no little ones in my house. When I have challenging moments I stop whatever I am doing and spend some quality time with Aspen and Abby. It only takes a few minutes of being in the presence of my littles to reawaken the truth that yes, they are a blessing. They are a tremendous, amazing, incredible gift that nothing could ever replace. No amount of money, me time or quiet could ever bring me the peace, love and joy that my children do.

I often pause during difficult mama moments to pray. Sometimes my prayers are for patience, sometimes for guidance and sometimes just for the little ones to drift off to sleep because I am exhausted and so are they. But the best prayers, the ones that bring me almost instant gratification from the Lord, are the prayers of thanks for each of my precious children.

This time of year, the joy that children bring to our lives is magnified hundredfold, as we celebrate the birth of that most precious child, our Lord Jesus Christ. I also can't really find adequate words to describe the depth to which children enhance the holiday season. There is a whole other dimension to Christmas when there are littles to make magic for.

I may lack the words, but Dolly Parton had the perfect ones in the end title song from her movie A Smokey Mountain Christmas. I believe this song is called All Wrapped Up In You and it sums up what I've been trying to express in this post beautifully. This video is the ending of the movie, but the song begins at 6:51.

Tonight I'd like to dedicate it not only to my beautiful girls but also to the Duggar family and their precious little Josie. I hope that you will all lift them up in your prayers today and every day.

Update

Thanks so much to those of you who took the time to leave your well wishes in comments. It is so appreciated. For now everything is looking up. We are at home after consulting with the cardiologist today. He believes that the test results do show that there is something going on, perhaps a new or recurring blockage, but at this point it is not urgent enough to warrant a trip to the hospital or a cath proceedure. We're trying new meds to see if we can get the situation under control. We're relieved, to say the least. Thanks again for your prayers and well wishes.

Prayers Please

Those of you who've been regular readers here at Shore's End or at my prior blog, Ramblings of a Rag-Tag Believer, know that my hubby has a heart condition. For anyone reading this who might not be familiar with it, I'll share the condensed version. At the tender age of 30, he suffered a heart attack and was found to have several severe blockages in arteries near his heart. He underwent bypass surgery to save his life. Since then he has been on medication for such conditions as high blood pressure and high cholesterol. In 2005, shortly before Aspen was born, he began having problems again and tests revealed a new blockage. He underwent a heart catherization procedure in which doctors broke up the blockage and placed a stint in the artery to help keep it open. He hasn't had any problems since then, until recently.

For a few months now he's been complaining of mild chest pains. Angina isn't unusual for him due to one small blockage that could not be repaired, and it's not that big a deal. But recently he's had more pain and some shortness of breath, so he went in to the doctor for a check up last week. The doctor sent him for a stress test. He had it today and came home saying it went well and that he did the whole test with only minimal discomfort. All seemed well, until this afternoon when the doctor called to say that he wanted to see him and commented that he saw what he called "significant" issues in the test results. He wants to see Shawn again and wants to schedule another cath procedure as soon as possible.

This came as a big surprise for both of us, since the test seemed to go so well and since he's been almost totally symptom free for such a long time. This could not have come at a worse time, since right now we are almost totally broke and with so little help here. Our families live in Virginia, and my parents have said that they well come and help if they're needed, but at 78 and 80 there really isn't a lot they can do to help care for Aspen and Abby should I have to go be at the hospital with him. Leaving Ashley to babysit both kids on her own isn't really an option either, that is just too much on her in my opinion, especially with Aspen's seperation issues. So the logical thing is to take everyone along, but I am worried that with the H1N1 bug that the hospital might not allow the little girls to visit. If I have to leave Aspen at home and go without her, it will not be easy.

Then of course, there's the emotional aspect of all of this for me. It's scary and unpleasant for him and so I do my best to be there to care for him. I always put my own needs last in these situations, because I feel like that's what you do, you know? This time I find that I'm having a tougher time than usual emotionally. I think it's the buildup of dealing with this over such a long period of time.

When Shawn had his heart attack back in 1997, our whole world ground to a halt and for a long time afterward I had a hard time looking toward the future without fear. The possibility that he could suffer another heart attack and be suddenly gone hung heavily over my head for years. As time passed, that got better. I grew older and wiser, and learned to cherish the here and now. Technology and improvements in treatment offered him much better chances of continuing to be healthy. Years passed without incidents, and so my confidence level rose and excessive fears faded away.

These days I am very well aware of the possibility that something could go wrong, even with a cath procedure that is now considered commonplace and relatively safe. I also believe that everything is within God's hands and under His control and that does give me more confidence that things will turn out well.

At any rate, I will try to keep everyone updated here. Prayers are deeply appreciated, not just for Shawn but also for our whole family. Thank you everyone!

Never Too Young For Hot Wheels

Shawn's brother Mark recently came to visit us, and he brought some special Hot Wheels cars that he'd picked out just for Aspen. Aspen loves Hot Wheels and any other small die cast car. She has a track and a whole collection of cars passed down to her by her big sisters. So when she got these new cars, she decided it was time to give Abby some lessons is exactly how to play with them.